What if
by Dawn Vanessa
Summary: Every life is a blessing. Give that child a chance. Give parents that can't have kids a chance too! ... Zack is worried ... My friend and I were eleven and naive ... Our baby got adopted ... Brian just want to keep his secrets hidden ... Now he's a healthy fourteen year old ...


**What if ...**

Every life is a blessing. Give that child a chance. Give parents that can't have kids a chance too! ... Zack is worried ... My friend and I were eleven and naive ... Our baby got adopted ... Brian just want to keep his secrets hidden ... Now he's a healthy fourteen year old ...

Avenged sevenfold, zack baker, synister gates, past school life, adoption, depression, first kiss, first time, baby, romance, drama, underage,

It's hard to believe that fourteen years have passed by and all that I can think about it's a tiny you. Today is a special day because it was the day of your birth. I am not only thinking about you but also that I had been young, stupidly naive and reckless just like your other parent. As I lay down on the grass I can already see stars filling up the sky and think about the what if's.

I don't think that my life is bad, I am after all in a great band with great band mates, but still I miss you. Our band was already on tour, but on this special date I just had to get away from them. I think that it's easier to show anger then to show my band mates tears. When you know someone long enough you just know which buttons to push and how hard. Today, it was M's turn and that dude can throw a good punch, thankfully I didn't lose any teeth.

Thankfully our other band mates pulled us apart before any permanent damage could be done or we even said anything hurtful. Hell, before Matt would said anything I volunteered myself on taking a much needed walk to cool down. Before I walk away from the bus Zacky just shoves my phone and with just his look it tells me everything in case of danger or anything else he'll have his own phone ready.

I'm just grateful that he just knows when I just need some time to myself and that was a while ago. I am still surprised that Zack hasn't sent me a message ... my phone just tweets at me. I was a little wrong, he sent me a message and all I could write back to him was that I was still alive and thinking. I began to mess around with my phone, organizing and deleting until getting bored and deciding to join the band's forum and looking at the fans questions until one question caught my eye and I knew that it had to be me to answer such a delicate and life altering question.

I knew that it had changed my life and that I still regret it a little but now knowing how good it went I just have to tell it like I had felt back then. At the moment it's good to feel a little numb and hoping that nobody from the band is in the forum. I read the girl's question and saw how old she is, crap she's twelve and already ...

"Every life is a blessing. Give that child a chance. Give parents that can't have kids a chance too!" I really hope that my band mates haven't seen my answer. I saw another fan answer and questioning if I was pro-life and that I didn't knew about teenage pregnancy, well I do. I hope that my answer helps her out and really, really hope that my band mates don't see this.

"I understand trough experience. My friend and I were eleven and naive. My baby got adopted. Now he's a healthy fourteen yr old," I tried to answer to the point and as honestly as I could ... A few minutes passed by and I was already regretting the answer so I just erased it. I can't have one of my band mates see my answer and know about it. I don't even want to think about their reaction specially ...

My phone tweets, I am already imagining who texted me ... it's Zack ... "Dude. tlk r txt pls!" I can already imagined how freak out he was and specially since I had tried to keep my kid a secret. I had no idea how to answer or even begin to explain what had happened. "U can tell me, wont judge!" Another text and I still can't answer him about it.

My phone is ringing now, great now he wants to talk to me as if trying to answer text wasn't hard enough. "I think that you need to tell someone about it. At least I know why your such a douche bag on this day. It really helps if you have a close friend to talk about it," he sounded so earnest but still ...

"Look, it's been fourteen long years, I'm over it. I am just happy knowing that he is a healthy little brat with friends and a nice family that loves him no matter where he came from," I was hoping that my answer was enough to clam Zack down. After everything had been said and done the only good memory I had had been when I held him for the first and last time. I will not tell Zacky this part, it still hurts.

"It's a good thing that I know you and can tell that your are feeding me is bullshit right now. You're sounding irritated and annoyed, you already tired yourself out by worrying about this. Syn ... Brian, look I already told you that I won't judge you. You have to come back to the bus, the others are already asleep so we can talk more in the bunks. I'll see you in a few," he whispers before he hung's up.

I quietly make it back to the bus and sure enough everyone is already asleep, except for him. I think that everyone is asleep, but Zacky was already waiting for me in my bunk. As we climb in, he tightly holds me giving me silent support in hopes that I tell him about it. I don't know how to start the conversation since this isn't a typical matter to discuss and he knows it. He is rubbing my back and my hand and giving me this look that tells me of his patience and love.

"I had been young and naive about everything and my friend had been the same. We were so caught up in the music scene that we hardly noticed when we had hit puberty. I mean we hadn't even know what condoms where at the time. My friend had already been four months pregnant when we got the whole condom speech," I took a deep breath to look at my Zacky's reaction and he just looked at me like I hadn't done anything wrong in the world.

"So I heard from a little birdie that the kid is with a good family. I wonder if the kid is already cool like his father. I mean will he follow in your foot steps and become a guitar player. Shit, dude, does he know who you are?" always going to the point, my Zacky boy.

I thought about the situation when it had first come up, the obsession with rock bands, the expulsion not only from school but from our houses as well. Everything had been left in shambles but it had been a good thing that we found our silver lining and ironically we had found it in our music teacher. I don't think that Zacky needs to know the sad details.

"Actually I know the parents and they are good friends of a very good music teacher that I had in middle school. You know I had never believe anything about the whole saying "It's in your genes" but now I believe it. I heard quite a lot on him, he's already a little punk that is learning to play the bass," I stop to look at Zack reaction and sure enough he's smirking.

"Also heard that he likes his skin tight jeans and already forming a rock band on his own. Before you start I am not stalking the kid, his mother likes to give me little insights about him through e-mail. I don't know how he looks like now and the only time I had ever seen him was when he had been born." Zack is still holding me as I think about what I had done.

Those school days hadn't been too bad when they had been covered in sweet naivety. We had been young and inexperienced and now I know that in the end it had been the right choice. The right choice for my little baby boy ... Peter Lewis ...

the end


End file.
